A house is no home unless it contains food and fire for the mind as well as for the body.
— Margaret Fuller
…and coffee. It needs coffee. — Leslea Tash
I want to change things. I want to see things happen. I don’t want just to talk about them.
—John Kenneth Galbraith
And that is why *I* write. So *you* don’t have to talk about them. I’ll do it for you, then.
I’ll get back to Letters to Iyanla soon. I haven’t forgotten. Not for a second.
Learning to trust is one of life’s most difficult tasks.
— Isaac Watts
For me, it certainly was. Once I reached the point in my personal development where it became an obvious truth to me that I must learn to trust my loved ones, or else I’d never have a happy, healthy relationship, I think I went overboard—I trusted TOO much.
I used the denial button way too much. You know, like the “easy button” on the office supply store commercials? Whenever I needed a healthy, positive, caring relationship in my life, I would use the denial button and just press right on ahead as though the person I was trying to have it with hadn’t already shown me for years (and in some instances decades) that trust was something he/she had NOT earned.
Trust is a necessary part of a two-way relationship. Think about driving. If you don’t trust the car coming your direction down the other side of the street is going to stay in its lane, you will probably veer off the road, or maybe bail out of the car, or possibly just huddle in fright behind the wheel waiting for the airbags to deploy.
I had reached the point where I was tired of bailing, veering, and waiting. I started driving on my side of the road only to learn that the drivers on the other side were sometimes missing me, sometimes aiming right for me! Instead of learning which streets are safe and which are not, I was driving as if *all* were, no matter how many car crashes were piled up on the sides of the road.
I thought deep down that if I were very, very good and loved everyone enough, they would see that I was a good person and they would love me back, or at the very least, treat me with respect.
Denial Button! That sort of thinking was too easy. It was logical to me because my heart wanted it to be true, but it wasn’t true logic because it wasn’t based on anything quantifiable. It was wishful thinking.
My journey of trust has been rewarding. It has been enlightening. I’m sure it isn’t over. I don’t feel as though I know all there is to know about trust. I still feel as though I’m too trusting—especially after I learn that someone I have extended the hand of friendship to in loving good faith has badmouthed me, inexplicably.
Sometimes we trust without even realizing it—just as others mistrust without realizing it. What a thing.